Could the battle of the Stainless Steel Titans Sunday in Food Network’s Kitchen Stadium possibly live up to how much money was spent on full page print advertising as well as on the ethernet?  (Print, hooray, it isn’t dead yet)

       “The greatest night in culinary history?” A secret ingredient “of national importance.”  I would have made the ingredient “sweet potato and/or broccoli” But an invitation to ravage the White House Garden plus pillage a coldbox of popular proteins gave an easy glide to the contenders – Favorite son Bobby Flay paired with White House stalwart Cristeta Comerfield against Iron chef Mario Batali and Emeril Legasse sweating like a stuck Nixon – an easy glide.

       Sam Sifton and Kim Severson blogging on NYTimes.com, thought the fix was in. Is it possible Mario Batali had never lost before? Could he have singed his icicle radishes deliberately and then dared to serve them “charred” as if were intentional?  And Lagasse…had he taken one two many Ambien on the red-eye and come directly from the airport in a fog toting a sack of bitter chicory-tinted coffee? What did flaming Café Brulot with clove-studded orange rind have to do with anything sustainable or antixoident? And that overcooked turkey roulade. Puhleeze.

       Even woundup and dramatically on the run while Comerford’s second struggled with the crumbly pastry, Flay got those pretty plates out with Criseta in full dress synchronosity. Drama, friends, loved that suspense.  Clearly from the orgasmic sighs and bosom heavings of the judges, Batali’s exploding raviolo was the best dish of the night (unless you want to include Nigella Lawson in that category).  But the Flay-Comerford presentation and originality trumped it.

       Frankly what an eccentric choice of judges. And where was the Chairman? How could he miss the event of the century. Is it possible he’s an illegal alien and couldn’t get Secret Service clearance. Was he off getting his visa renewed?

       Of course I personally screamed with joy at the end – when the judges chose Flay and Comerford triumphant and I learned their charity of choice was Citymeals-on-Wheels…today $25,000 stronger.  

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